The first time I heard about feminism was when I was in school. In class 10th, I was taught that Feminism is a political doctrine of equal rights for women and men and Feminists are those men and women who believe that many of the inequalities we see in society between men and women are neither natural nor necessary and can be altered so that both women and men can lead free and equal lives.
Obviously intrigued, I decided to read more on it and after a great amount of thoughts, I started calling myself a feminist. For, Feminism is gender equality, right? Why wouldn't anyone want to support such an important concept? Why wouldn't people like to call themselves feminists, do they not believe in equality?
Feminism means men = women and women = men.
Yet when the question "Are you a feminist?" is popped up, some readily agree and reply in affirmative while others grimace because they don't want to be associated with it.
Back then, I was a little too naïve to understand the depth of politics and every movement associated with it. But now, I think I understand too well.
9/10 people who call themselves feminists, only talk about women and their struggles. Don't get me wrong, I agree that this is a very grave matter and it needs to be talked about because we live in a patriarchal society but when did this movement turn from being about equality to hating men in particular?
Why do people call "modern day feminism" as "men-hating"? because it obviously is. Sure, we live in a patriarchal society but we cannot completely ignore the fact that men have to go through many hurdles in their life, men are also judged by the society and most-importantly, men can be victims too.
Even with ever-present privilege, men face their own set of destructive barriers that restrict what it means to be a man and how a man can express himself.
The society expects men to be mythically strong creatures who feel no pain. How familiar are you with the statement
"Mard ko dard nahi hota" ?
Men aren't even allowed to let out their emotions or be vulnerable because
"Boys don't cry"
Men are expected to be the natural bread-earners in the family. They are expected to look after everything and everyone but the real question is, who is looking after them?
Let's not even get started with the number of cases where men are accused of something by a woman, they are blasted with hatred from everywhere only for the accuses to turn out false?
I am well aware that feminism stems from the idea that women need to be uplifted in this patriarchal society, but this doesn't necessarily mean that we have to bring men down. By only talking about women and neglecting as well as invalidating the issues men face, aren't we being a part of the problem too?
It's a simple request from my side; stop being pseudo-feminists and stop ruining the entire movement that has been going on for centuries for the most fickle reasons such as "clout". As for the people who hate what feminism has become, let me clarify, feminism has always been about gender equality and it will always be about gender equality, please don't let these pseudo-feminists and their broken notions affect a movement that has helped so many.
Signing off,
Yours Flawed,
Gargi Thakur
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